Miss Manners

Last evening my family went out for dinner to celebrate the one year anniversary of my big surgery,  and to spend a nice evening with my daughter and her boyfriend before he headed off to college this morning.      As we were going in a lady was coming out and so we held the door open for her to pass.     This small act of courtesy seemed to surprise her and she thanked us well beyond what was necessary.      It got me to thinking about manners and how much they are sometimes lacking.     I believe that until you prove me wrong, there is good in everyone, and that you should treat others the way you would like to be treated.    ( remember the Golden Rule??? )     Perhaps if we returned to those simple acts of respect for other humans there would be less hate in the world.

We are coming into quilt show season,   there were a few locally last weekend, and the Dutchess County Fair starts this week, and there are lots more.    So you may be wondering what this has to do with my plea for us all to treat each other reasonably.     Most quilt shows are judged, which means competition and that judgement often spills over to the attitudes of the audience.     Now, there is nothing wrong with recognizing excellence,  and identifying places where there could be improvement,  this is called learning.     However,  rudely stated opinions that are unsupported,  ( Things like,  ” I hate that fabric, she must have been really desperate to finish this quilt if that was the best thing she could find for the border ”  ) are not OK.    They are just plain mean,  and it is entirely possible that the maker of that quilt was standing right behind our rude commentator.      I witnessed this exact scene once and the quilt maker went from being a happy proud woman to a deflated husk, and in talking to her later she swore she would never enter a show again.  Her quilt was very well constructed, including piecing applique and lovely quilting.    It makes me so sad.     It turns out the fabric in question was chosen by the very sick young person who was to receive the quilt after the show.     I never saw that lady again,   I hope her young friend found the healing in it that she intended.     It seems that Ugly is as much in the eye of the beholder as is beauty.      As you go through your days this quilt season please remember to be kind and use your manners.    Little acts can have a big ripple.

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Mommy said to be nice —   can you give me some nice treats???    Please!!?   

Crazy Quilt Club will meet tomorrow.   See you then.

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5 Responses to Miss Manners

  1. Ann Lewis says:

    SO WELL STATED DIANA! There is a way to give constructive criticism. It should never be a negative statement, in my opinion. “I hate that color,” is self centered and egotistical, and thoughtless, telling about the shallowness of the viewer, bringing no valuable information to the table. This critical viewer is obviously lacking a lot, especially in basic human kindness. I have a feeling, too, that she is jealous and/or very insecure. The quilter is so far advanced, creating art and understanding its power to heal; including the receiver of the quilt in the process was courageous and powerful. Whoever you are, please keep creating and bringing your positive energy to others and a needy world. I wish I had seen your work, which I am sure from what Diana said, was very good. Critic, please spare the world of any further negativity and unkindness. Check your ego at the door.

  2. Judy says:

    Very well said, people can be so hurtful.

  3. Bill Triebel says:

    Very well said!

  4. Diana–wise message stated in an eloquent manner! 💕

  5. Jean W. says:

    You are so right! Thank you!

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